Femininity and the Environment

Before I begin, I have to confess that I am using this blog as a means of "getting the creative juices flowing" as I prepare for a talk I'm giving on Monday. If you know me, then you know I'm always harping on the need for a major cultural revolution in our country. This (blog) relates to that (revolution). My talk is on what John Paul II referred to as "a new feminism", which he challenged women to promote in the encyclical Evangelium Vitae.
Recently I was listening to NPR (I love NPR), and they were talking about mountain-top removal, a practice used by coal companies in Appalachia to harvest coal. As you can imagine, it's pretty invasive and is not something the landscape can EVER recover from. In case you were wondering, mountains do not grow new tops. The practice also causes flooding (I'm not sure how that works) and often the victims of this flooding are poor residents who live in the valleys below. The radio show highlighted a meeting of such residents, many of them life-long. These local people were infuriated. In addition to the fact that many had lost their houses and even loved ones, they also view the mountains as their heritage. This is what they will pass down to their children and grand-children. They are being robbed (an image employed by one woman) of something that cannot be replaced. The report then flipped over to the CEO of one of the major coal companies responsible. His response was that coal mining is a "nuisance business" and that the responses of the people are emotional reactions to the nuisance aspect of it. What matters are the facts of the situation. I'll let you figure out what facts he might be referring to. But his response to the heartfelt conviction of the people is infuriating, or should be. I've heard it before. It's the reducing of deep moral conviction to mere emotion. Of course, many times deep moral conviction is accompanied by emotion. And it should be. But there is something profoundly important and essentially human to care about something that has moral ramifications. We should care. And whether right or wrong, the opinions of people who care should be respected, because they reflect a very important aspect of what it means to be human. We are not fully thinking if we think only with our heads and do not allow our heart (meaning our gut, our convictions) to participate. This is one reason why having a well-formed conscience is so important. The head and the heart must go together.
When I began preparing for this talk I made a connection that is basically the point of this blog. Women offer something to our society which could radically reform our culture if we allow it to be heard. We offer that heart. You've heard the old sayings about man being the head and woman being the heart. Perhaps you bristle at the sentiment as part of the attitude that sought to keep women from reaching their full potential. And maybe those who originally cited it did have this attitude. But despite that, there is something to this idea. What I mean is that the true glory of women does not lie in being capable of doing everything a man can do just as good or better. Think about it - the underlying assumption here is that men are better than women, and as such is the standard that women should aspire to to "be successful". I say no. There is something inherent in femininity, in its uniqueness, that is amazing and exactly what this modernized world is often missing. That is the intuitive awareness of another person in his or her otherness, and the simultaneous and natural ability to care for this other (can also apply to the created world). This is exemplified in motherhood, a role tragically denigrated by many mainstream feminists. Please do not get images in your mind of barefoot women in aprons with stifled dreams and aspirations. What I am talking about is a great spiritual strength and one that is fundamentally feminine.
In a world that tends to mechanize, that prizes efficiency and cold rationality as virtues, where the poor and the suffering are overlooked as burdens and obstacles to true progress, we need women more than ever to tap into the dignity which lies in their uniqueness, to call upon that spiritual strength which is God-given and natural to her and begin to touch every aspect of society. This is what John Paul II referred to as the "genius of women". Let us bring to the world that sensitivity that results in a rediscovery of what is essentially human in a culture that tends to dehumanize.
Hopefully this makes sense, because my eyes are starting to go cross-eyed from staring at this computer screen. Thanks for reading!

Is There Room for More than Two in Love?

Ladies, ever walked into a building behind a couple where the man opened the door for the woman he was with but let it slam in your face? Guys, ever have a "friend who is a girl" who became cold and indifferent to you after finding a boyfriend or husband? Or what about the couple who get jealous anytime their significant other is kind or generous to someone else of the opposite sex?

Here are some thoughts inspired by a quote from my hero, John Paul II:"We must also take into account that the subject of sexual morality in its totality is wider than marital ethics alone ... it embraces a large number of questions in the area of the relationship between ... man and woman. Within the framework of this relationship, or co-existence, everyone must always, with all possible conscientiousness and with a feeling of total responsibility, make his concern that basic good for each of us and for all of us together, which is ... the assertion of the value of the human person."

Here's what I get out of this passage: Just as the love between a man and a woman naturally reaches beyond the two to another, or others (most obvious example is children), so too does the morality that governs it. This morality demands respect and love for every human person the couple encounters. Furthermore, the respect and love due to each human person is not "gender-blind." It always originates in the heart of a particular person, who is either male or female, and is directed toward a particular person, who is, once again, male or female. So this love for each and every person whose demand is bound up in the love of husband and wife, always exists in a masculine or feminine way. Furthermore, this is not a threat to the love of the spouse, but an expression of it.

Here's an example of what I mean. A good friend of mine got married last summer. At her reception, some of her girlfriends were hanging out on the lawn chatting. Her new husband came over to us and took a tally of what drinks were needed. Despite our protests, he returned a few minutes later with our refreshments. He wasn't being a scumbag who was paying more attention to his wife's pretty friends than his wife, but his love for her naturally expressed itself in his love and respect for all women. He was serving us, because, first and foremost, he had committed himself to serving his wife.

And so it should be with all married couples. Especially in an age where contraception and other societal practices and pressures keeps marital love closed in upon itself (a huge contributer to our out-of-control divorce rate), we as Christians need to live out what God intended the love between a man and woman to be. I think in a huge way that God wants to use this love to literally transform society, and this is why it is so fiercely attacked. So a call to all you who are married, or find yourself in love, or just know that your vocaton is to marriage: let God move in your heart to guide the love you have for your spouse (existing or future) to embrace the whole world, one person at a time.

The Simple Things

Riding the bus home yesterday after work, I observed an encounter that touched me, and I wanted to share the story with others. It was a simple, yet profound instance of human companionship and one of those moments where the good in people peeks through the clouds of a sin-filled world.

Near the front of the bus, two old men struck up a conversation. They talked about religion, carpentry, family, and one of the men's upcoming surgery. They seemed eager to share their stories with someone who wanted to listen. I remember thinking as they spoke how privileged we are to have the elderly, how many years of wisdom and grace they possess, and how much they can teach us. Toward the end of the conversation (or at least what I saw of it), one of the men asked the other, "What are you doing tomorrow?" He explained that he had to take the bus to the south side of Richmond, across the river. The place that he was visiting the next day had a parking lot that was full of litter. He spoke about how demoralizing it was to see that, and how he's been planning to clean it up himself. But, since he only has one arm, he has trouble using a broom and has been looking for someone to help him. He invited his new-found friend to join him in cleaning the littered parking lot. They made plans to meet at 7 am the next day to catch the bus, and exchanged phone numbers just in time for the bus to reach my stop.

I don't want to elaborate on this too much; it seems to me the simplicity and goodness of the two men's encounter speaks for itself. I hope it will inspire you to take the time to notice the simple goodness of our everyday interactions and appreciate the gift we have in our elderly.

The Eye of the Beholder

I love C.S. Lewis. There’s a scene from the last book in his space trilogy, That Hideous Strength, where four women play a grown-up version of what my sister and I used to call “dress-up.” In this scene, the women choose dresses for each other, which are really more like royal robes, in preparation for a special dinner. A more familiar version of this event would inevitably involve a full-length mirror and the woman who is to wear the dress doing the choosing. I wonder, though, if this more familiar version of the event isn’t more familiar because it manifests fallen femininity. The encounter Lewis describes is entirely different, and I think points to a profound truth of femininity. There is no mirror in the room, and the other women choose the dresses for each other. When one woman comments over the lack of mirror in the room, another replies: “I don’t believe we were meant to see ourselves,’ said Jane. ‘He said something about being mirrors enough to see each other.’” Once the perfect gown is chosen and the woman in question is adorned, the other three stand back and admire in amazement the beauty, not of the dress itself, but of the beauty in their friend that the dress brings out.

Every woman’s beauty is itself beautiful, not for herself, but precisely for another. The vanity of a woman on the other hand, is described in C.S. Lewis’ short story “The Shoddy Lands.” Here, a woman makes her beauty exist for herself and in doing so distorts it. C.S. Lewis relates this in a descriptive glimpse into one woman’s inner world, at which she is the center.

"She was Peggy. That is, she was recognizable; but she was Peggy changed. I don’t mean only the size. As regards the figure, it was Peggy improved. I don’t think anyone could have denied that. As to the face, opinions might differ. I would hardly have called the change an improvement myself. There was no more – I doubt if there was as much – sense or kindness or honesty in this face than in the original Peggy’s. But it was certainly more regular. The teeth in particular, which I had noticed as a weak point in the old Peggy, were perfect, as in a good denture. The lips were fuller. The complexion was so perfect that it suggested a very expensive doll. The expression I can best describe by saying that Peggy now looked exactly like the girl in all the advertisements."[1]

And later in his account … “The gigantic Peggy now removed her beach equipment and stood up naked in front of a full-length mirror. Apparently, she enjoyed what she saw there; I can hardly express how much I didn’t.”[2]

The image from Pink Floyd's The Wall of the devouring flower-turned-monster that represents (what we know is fallen) femininity is encompassed here. It is a femininity that seeks to consume, that even feeds upon her own beauty in a futile attempt to satisfy her need. This same dynamic is also seen where a woman uses her beauty to try and capture the affections of a man in order to satisfy her longing for attention. This can occur in two extreme forms. In one extreme, the woman knows her beauty, and wields it expertly to seduce the man. In the other, the woman desperately grasps after beauty, and wishing she were the woman in the first scenario, tries to wield it in such a way as to secure the man’s attention. In both situations, however, we see a manifestation of fallen femininity, which is, as we know, distinctly and paradoxically not feminine.
[1] C.S. Lewis The Dark Tower and Other Stories pp. 108-109
[2] Ibid 109.